9.14.14

List: The Ten Things You Need to Get Noticed at New York Fashion Week

1. Flare Gun

2. ISIS Flag

3. Komodo Dragon (preferably multiple)

4. Wacky Flailing Inflatable Man

5. Cerberus

6. Your own cage and personal handler

7. Portable theramin

8. Horde of seeing-eye dogs dressed as blind men

9. Ford Fiesta on monster truck wheels

10. Arrive on throne of compressed hair carried by twelve bald men